Man Up, No One is Coming to Save Us

On Spirit In Action, Tuesday, October 24, in the midst of WPFW’s 2006 Fall Pledge Drive, I had the pleasure of interviewing Mr. Steve Perry, author, "Man Up! Nobody is Coming to Save Us." Mr. Perry, an in-your-face truth teller, brings black accountability to a whole new level. He presents a candid, yet compelling discussion on the need for Black men to "Man Up" and be real men for the sake of ours sons, daughters, families, and larger communities.

He both admonishes and challenges our political, civil rights leadership, established Black national organizations, and religious institutions to re-invent themselves in light of the changing cultural forces, the modern day landscape of racism and evolving global dynamics.

Mr. Perry, continues to drive the point home: black man must grow up and leave the nest of mamma, girl friends, aunts, grandmothers to participate in the regeneration and advancement of the Black community. Perry, says, "Black people are at the helm of many of the systems that impact our lives today. We raise, entertain, fed, lead, and educate our children. Failure to own our role in the creation of the condition of our community robs us of the chance to improve it. Once we recognize that we, more than any other group, have the power to transform our currently deplorable conditions. We will finally take hold of the opportunity to foster a healthy Black community.

I was particularly intrigued by his "Is he a mamma’s boy quiz." We all know some black man that has not fully reached his potential. And, we are all too fond of excusing away why that is so. Is your brother, uncle, lover, partner, or husband a Mamma’s boy?

Steve Perry’s Mamma’s Boy Quiz

1. He takes pride in having someone else take care of his responsibilities.

2. He receives regular financial support from someone else.

3. More than once since he’s been an adult he has lived somewhere that he has not paid for. This includes staying with his mother, girlfriend or at one of his boys’ houses.

4. He is one of the last people that you think of when you need help.

5. He puts himself and his interests before everyone else.

6. When you communicate with him it’s not uncommon for the conversation to entail addressing his mounting needs.

7. Other’s generosity is essential to his survival.

8. His big plans and short follow through yields little more than near misses and compelling stories about brushes with fame and fortune.

9. It takes him twice as long and thrice as much prodding to get him to finish tasks, ranging from helping around the house, to getting a job, to paying his bills, to completing his education.

10. You have stopped depending on him and now presume that it is not even worth asking him for help.

You will need to read the book to get the scores for your potential Mamma’s Boy rating. Just to know we have this Mamma’s Boy description is worth the money and mental investment in this book.

During my interview, he fanned the fires even more with his controversial, "It is a big lie that a woman can work and raise kids alone. Yes, he says that there are examples of extraordinary women, kids, and their support networks that combine to do amazing things." However, he contends the failure rates for children coming from single parent’s households are alarming. There is not one day that goes by that we do not hear a sister say, "I don’t need no man. This is my boy and I can raise him all by myself."

Mr. Perry left no stones unturned, as he challenged every aspect of Black life: gangster rap, thug life, black intellectuals like Dr. Michael Dyson and Cornel West to influential black pastors. Of Dr. Dyson, he says, "Dr. Dyson represents herds of apologists who accept no responsibility for the Black condition. Apologists spend countless hours putting us to sleep with thin explanations for the perpetuation of the thug culture."

The thug culture Mr. Perry writes about is a life style that promotes violence, misogyny, self-destruction, and may lead ultimately to death. A life style that sucks black boys into a downward spiral with no end in sight, with ill-reversible consequences to the black community.


As a member of the black clergy family, I challenge us to reclaim our spiritual role as the "watchmen and watchwomen" of our congregations and communities, the moral compass of our "inner movement", and as teachers and practitioners of truth telling. We have work to do: everyone in the Black community has to be actively working to re-cast the stage, the players, the scenes, the resources, and goals of Black families, Black institutions, and the Black middle class.

What is the real issue behind the decline and decay of Black men, the disharmony in our relationships between Black women and Black man, and destruction of Black life? In the upcoming days, I will offer some spiritual insights into these complex interactions and psychological entanglements.

Steve Perry’s Man Up! Is a must read book.

To visit Steve Perry's web site click here
www.renagadebooks.com