Man Up, No One is Coming to Save Us

On Spirit In Action, Tuesday, October 24, in the midst of WPFW’s 2006 Fall Pledge Drive, I had the pleasure of interviewing Mr. Steve Perry, author, "Man Up! Nobody is Coming to Save Us." Mr. Perry, an in-your-face truth teller, brings black accountability to a whole new level. He presents a candid, yet compelling discussion on the need for Black men to "Man Up" and be real men for the sake of ours sons, daughters, families, and larger communities.

He both admonishes and challenges our political, civil rights leadership, established Black national organizations, and religious institutions to re-invent themselves in light of the changing cultural forces, the modern day landscape of racism and evolving global dynamics.

Mr. Perry, continues to drive the point home: black man must grow up and leave the nest of mamma, girl friends, aunts, grandmothers to participate in the regeneration and advancement of the Black community. Perry, says, "Black people are at the helm of many of the systems that impact our lives today. We raise, entertain, fed, lead, and educate our children. Failure to own our role in the creation of the condition of our community robs us of the chance to improve it. Once we recognize that we, more than any other group, have the power to transform our currently deplorable conditions. We will finally take hold of the opportunity to foster a healthy Black community.

I was particularly intrigued by his "Is he a mamma’s boy quiz." We all know some black man that has not fully reached his potential. And, we are all too fond of excusing away why that is so. Is your brother, uncle, lover, partner, or husband a Mamma’s boy?

Steve Perry’s Mamma’s Boy Quiz

1. He takes pride in having someone else take care of his responsibilities.

2. He receives regular financial support from someone else.

3. More than once since he’s been an adult he has lived somewhere that he has not paid for. This includes staying with his mother, girlfriend or at one of his boys’ houses.

4. He is one of the last people that you think of when you need help.

5. He puts himself and his interests before everyone else.

6. When you communicate with him it’s not uncommon for the conversation to entail addressing his mounting needs.

7. Other’s generosity is essential to his survival.

8. His big plans and short follow through yields little more than near misses and compelling stories about brushes with fame and fortune.

9. It takes him twice as long and thrice as much prodding to get him to finish tasks, ranging from helping around the house, to getting a job, to paying his bills, to completing his education.

10. You have stopped depending on him and now presume that it is not even worth asking him for help.

You will need to read the book to get the scores for your potential Mamma’s Boy rating. Just to know we have this Mamma’s Boy description is worth the money and mental investment in this book.

During my interview, he fanned the fires even more with his controversial, "It is a big lie that a woman can work and raise kids alone. Yes, he says that there are examples of extraordinary women, kids, and their support networks that combine to do amazing things." However, he contends the failure rates for children coming from single parent’s households are alarming. There is not one day that goes by that we do not hear a sister say, "I don’t need no man. This is my boy and I can raise him all by myself."

Mr. Perry left no stones unturned, as he challenged every aspect of Black life: gangster rap, thug life, black intellectuals like Dr. Michael Dyson and Cornel West to influential black pastors. Of Dr. Dyson, he says, "Dr. Dyson represents herds of apologists who accept no responsibility for the Black condition. Apologists spend countless hours putting us to sleep with thin explanations for the perpetuation of the thug culture."

The thug culture Mr. Perry writes about is a life style that promotes violence, misogyny, self-destruction, and may lead ultimately to death. A life style that sucks black boys into a downward spiral with no end in sight, with ill-reversible consequences to the black community.


As a member of the black clergy family, I challenge us to reclaim our spiritual role as the "watchmen and watchwomen" of our congregations and communities, the moral compass of our "inner movement", and as teachers and practitioners of truth telling. We have work to do: everyone in the Black community has to be actively working to re-cast the stage, the players, the scenes, the resources, and goals of Black families, Black institutions, and the Black middle class.

What is the real issue behind the decline and decay of Black men, the disharmony in our relationships between Black women and Black man, and destruction of Black life? In the upcoming days, I will offer some spiritual insights into these complex interactions and psychological entanglements.

Steve Perry’s Man Up! Is a must read book.

To visit Steve Perry's web site click here
www.renagadebooks.com

Voting for the Future


Only about one out of every three eligible voters has bothered to cast a ballot in mid-term elections in recent years. Thirty six states will hold elections for governor. Thirty four of the 100 seats in the U.S. Senate will be up for grabs. And elections will be held for all 435 seats in the U.S. House of Representatives. Not only do we have Congressional races at stake, voters will choose many local offices …the town mayor, perhaps, the county sheriff, or a school board director or a tax collector. By exercising thier vote, citizens will help decide how their town, state, and nation will be run. On November 5th, fire stations, school auditoriums, church halls, and other public buildings will become polling places for a day. Do you realize how important your vote is to this country?


If the wrong policy decisions are made by our political leaders in Washington and you did not vote - what should the penalty be for ineffective citizenry? Who pays for the silence of a nation’s people? The stakes are too high for the electorate not to be actively engaged in mid-term elections. What's at stake: 3 African Americans congress persons will have the opportunity to serve as committee chairs and the election of the first woman Speaker of the House of Representatives. Additionally, risks include: the countless lives of our sons, daughters, fathers, and mothers trapped in a war and conflict that has very little to do with the security and safety of our nation and more to do with the widening gaps between those of material priviledge and those without.




Can you afford not to vote?

Lost Innocence and school violence

Is increasing violence and pedophilia against children representing a societal trend? We see an alarming number of children being abused physically and sexually in an escalating fashion What are the root cause and psychological triggers ?



Spiritually, children represent the innocence and freedom adults have lost. They are untouched by the pressure of society and express themselves as true ambassadors of the Creator. They are free to laugh, cry, play and love unconditionally. Why would any adult try to rob a child of these treasures?

More than likely, it will occur when that adult themselves have been robbed as a child or never given the chance to enjoy their childhood. Either abused as a child or having traumatizing experiences themselves, they act out this aggression on the weakest victims of all. They have have lost hope and think they are a victim of an unfair society. They did not get the right parents, the right wife, the respect they were owed. They want to rob others of what they have not acquired and in some twisted fashion, thinking that somehow the score is settled and other should suffer as they have.

What do you think? What kinds of safeguards should we be exploring to better protect our children? Better security ? Cameras on every block and class room? Tougher laws? I want to explore the ideas you have.

Dr. Carolyn Boyd